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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Coping with kids' problems Book explains when to worry and what to do by Aaron Leibel Arts Editor

Amy Freedman

Judi Greenberg

Sarah is 3 years old, and she refuses to use the toilet. When bedtime comes around, 4-year-old David uses every excuse imaginable to avoid going to sleep. Dafna, 5, seems to enjoy going to other people's birthday parties, but becomes a tyrant at her own.

Every parent has encountered a variant of one, or all three, of those problems ‹ and many more, to boot.

What's a mommy or daddy to do? Are these small issues that will go away with time? Are there relatively easy ways for parents to set their kids on the right path? Or are these problems a symptom of something much more serious, requiring professional help?

Those are the kind of questions that Is It a Big Problem or a Little Problem? When to Worry, When Not to Worry and What to Do (St. Martin's Press, 2007) was designed to help answer.

The four authors-- Amy Egan, a behavior specialist; Sharon Anderson, an occupational therapist; Amy Freedman, a speech pathologist; and Judi Greenberg, an occupational therapist ‹ all work for Ivymount School's Center for Outreach and Education program in Rockville. (Jessica Glickman, a member of WJW's graphic arts department, illustrated the book.)

CORE "supports kids with problems and helps teachers develop strategies to be more successful," says Greenberg, 55, who heads the program. It has contracts with 22 local private schools, including the nursery schools at Temple Sinai in the District and B'nai Shalom of Olney and the early childhood centers at Congregation B'nai Tzedek, Congregation Har Shalom and Washington Hebrew Congregation, all in Potomac.

In general, Rockville's Greenberg says, "Jewish parents tend to be more vigilant in many ways" in relation to their children, and "the Jewish community is in the forefront of looking at early childhood development and taking a proactive action where needed."

The schools connected to Jewish congregations have been receptive to their suggestions, she says.

Freedman, 47, says a parent who works in publishing suggested the book, noting that "there wasn't a book that talked about the interrelatedness of development and what you do with real kids in real environments."

The parent felt there weren't any books that "presented different strategies for different environments or helpful hints for children having specific problems," adds Greenberg, a member of Conservative Congregation Har Shalom in Potomac.

The book is divided into three sections: "The Basics," "Understanding Development" and "Where Children Struggle." It is written for parents of children from 18 months to 8 years.

Writing the book was a common endeavor, with the four professionals bringing different perspectives to the word processors. "We would meet as a group and bounce ideas off each other," says Greenberg, who grew up in a Conservative home in Philadelphia and holds a master's degree in occupational therapy from Wayne State University. "Someone would take notes, and a couple of us would write the chapter and then pass it out to everyone for comment."

The foursome wanted to provide parents "with a little knowledge of child development because it helps them to understand what to expect," says Freedman, a member of B'nai Shalom of Olney who lives in that town.

"The book is meant to help parents understand what they can do when they encounter problems," continues Freedman, who has a master's degree in speech pathology from George Washington University. "It also helps them to discern if this is a pattern, and if parents need professional help."

Overall, Freedman explains, the frequency, intensity and duration of the behavior and the different environments in which it takes place determine if it is a small problem, which the parents and teachers can handle, or a big one, where professional help may be called for.

For those instances where parents can cope -- with a little help -- the book offers down-to-earth advice.

For toilet training, the authors suggest setting the stage when the child is 1-year-old by changing him or her in the bathroom, giving the child the idea that is the appropriate place for such activities.

By the age of 3, children should be ready to be toilet trained, the authors write. Those children who don't take the initiative need to be prodded.

Bedtime is a tough time for kids and their parents. Set up a routine, they write, with the first step a bath, followed by brushing teeth, using the bathroom and getting a drink of water. The parent should accompany the child to his/her bedroom, read a short story, give the child a kiss and then turn off the light.

In general, routines are helpful, says Freedman, "comforting to children and helping them learn."

Content © 2007 Washington Jewish Week